HEALING FROM THE HEART
Let's take a different approach to healing.
Before I had my hysterectomy in 2022, I spoke with several women who told me they were surprised by the sense of loss and/or grief that they experienced when they had hysterectomies.
I understand the body-mind-spirit connection. I understand cellular memory. I understand how much we - women - tend to bury and store in our womb spaces throughout our lives -- trauma, often related to sexual abuse; mother wounds; sister wounds; money wounds; the conflict between masculine and our Divine Feminine. There's so much there that most women don't even think to acknowledge.
I knew that and so, armed with the wisdom of the women who had gone before me, I went to Ceremony before my surgery, to acknowledge and release those things, and the cells and tissues that would be removed from my body, leaving an empty space. That space, too, I was claiming as my own.
When it came time for my mastectomy, I knew that I needed Ceremony again -- I knew that I *needed* Ceremony, but I was finding myself paralyzed; I couldn't bring myself to do it. When I sat with that, I realized that it was because it was bigger than I was. I needed someone else to facilitate that Ceremony for me. I needed to be allowed to just experience and release. So I reached out to a friend who is also a Reiki Master and Shaman, and I put myself in her capable hands. She did a lovely job, and I was surprised by some of the things that came up.
But neither of us had ever had mastectomies, so neither of us had an understanding of what I really needed, or even what questions to ask to fully figure that out.
Now, I know, and I have built a fully customizable offering for other woman based on that knowledge.
While this work can be done post-surgery, it is intended to begin pre-surgery, to make the process less physically and emotionally traumatic.
I remember sitting with my fears before my surgery. I was afraid, of course, of the surgery itself - afraid of the pain, and of the recovery. I was afraid of who I would be - so many of our stories about who we are get tied up in our bodies in some way. I was afraid of what my body would look like. I really only had three choices: to have the mastectomy, to have the surgery with or without reconstruction, and what kind of reconstruction I wanted. I understood, however, that once they put me to sleep, I had no more control. If the DIEP flap surgery didn't work, I would wake up with implants. If it did work, I would wake up with C cup breasts and a flatter stomach but... what did that mean? I had no point of reference, no way to imagine a C cup when I had been a DDD for my entire adult life; no way to imagine a flatter stomach when I've always been a chubby girl. And I'd looked up "after" pictures of the surgery I was having. I knew that not every surgeon did a great job with the "tummy tuck" portion. I had no idea what to expect, and no control over it.
So I sat with those fears, and did the work necessary to release them. When I looked at my body for the first time after the surgery, even with fresh incisions and temporary drains - the accoutrements of a very recent operation - I thought, "Of course this is what my body looks like now."
My friend, I want you, too, to look in the mirror and have that same level of acceptance for the body that has always been, and forever will be, perfectly imperfect.
Through my own journey, I realized that I am uniquely equipped to offer this healing to other women -- to uncover the stories, the traumas, the consent violations, the grief, the shame; whatever it is that has been trapped, hidden, buried, or carefully tucked away for safe keeping in her breasts, to determine what needs to be gently moved somewhere else to be held and what needs to be examined, acknowledged, perhaps thanked, and released, in order to energetically create a blank canvas for the surgeons, and allow for less physical and emotional trauma for the woman.
There is much that I do in my line of work. Working with women who are preparing for, or have had, mastectomies or hysterectomies is my most sacred calling.
Every client follows their own journey. Coaching is individualized and customized to your specific experience and desired outcomes, and this process is certainly no exception to that rule. Even though I am a spiritual being, this journey is about YOU finding your own authentic alignment, which means that the process is facilitated by me, but has absolutely nothing to do with me otherwise. My modalities are what they are, but my beliefs do not make their way into my work unless they happen to align with your own. It is my job to meet you where you are and, during our time together, to align with your model of the world.
For those of you who do want to be witnessed in Ceremony, whether just by me or by your own support system of women, I'm happy to design a custom Ceremony specific to your situation, offering the intimacy and comfort of sisterhood; circle; ceremony; safe, sacred space; being witness, acknowledged, accepted, seen, heard, supported, held, and celebrated as the woman you were in your "before," and who you will become in your "after."
I am challenging you to reconsider how you view your health care. So often - for women, especially - we have a willingness to spend money on caring for others, whether that care is "essential" or not. However, self-care is still considered a luxury and, therefore, an unnecessary expense that we often can't justify, even if we can afford it.
We need to reimagine our relationship with our bodies and with our healthcare providers.
Body - Mind - Spirit
WANT TO PAY IT FORWARD?
It's not unusual, as a coach, to be contacted by a prospective client in need who is unable to afford my services. This situation becomes even more difficult because it's medically related, but not covered by insurance.
If you would like to pay it forward and donate to allow me to work with those clients who are experiencing financial hardship, please contact me directly.